Au Revoir July 30-Aug 5, 2003
I went to France for culture and historical perspective; I left with new lingerie and a greater appreciation for my country's history.

I planned my days around visits to monuments, museums and churches, but my fondest memories are of serendipitous glimpses into the lives of ordinary people in this most-civilized nation: the long table of Parisian cooks in immaculate toques dining together; the milliner whose custom-made chapeaus of straw, lace and tulle resembled glorious wedding cakes; a young Audrey Hepburn look-alike, in chic black tights and ballet slippers, cheerfully programming a new cell phone in the street.

 Crash and Burn July 23-29, 2003
Former Air Force Academy superintendent, Lt. Gen. John Dallager, says he is "very disappointed" that he's been stripped of one of his three stars for allegedly being unaware of widespread sexual abuse of female cadets during his tenure.
So am I. This year, dozens of female cadets, current and former, reported that they had been raped by male cadets and ostracized when they tried to get help from superior officers.

 Enough is Enough July 16-22, 2003
Sometimes elected officials do the right thing for the right reasons. For Ted Stevens, this is one of those times.

The Alaska Republican, president pro tem and longest-serving member of the Senate, is less known for altruism than horse-trading and arm-twisting. As chairman of the Appropriations Committee, he can flex his congressional muscle by withholding money for dams, highways and bridges that keep voters happy and his colleagues in office.

 The Flavor of the Day July 9-15, 2003
In France, you get to meet your food up close and personal. No cellophane or Styrofoam separates me from what I'm about to eat. This was the way it was in my childhood, when I ate asparagus only in spring, strawberries just in summer and mushrooms only in the fall. Otherwise, they weren't in season.

 Never Phone Home July 2-8, 2003
Here's my learned-it-the-hard-way vacation checklist:

-- Leave all toilet seats up for the cat that got locked in the house.

-- Don't ask the teen-ager next door to mow your lawn; if you do, don't pay in advance; if you do, don't leave behind the keys to your house or extra car; if you do, don't watch CNN Headline News.

 Free Advice June 25 – July 1, 2003
Like many seniors graduating this year, Anna Lieding, valedictorian of her 20-member Hana, Hawaii, high school class, is a jumble of mixed emotions: "I feel happy; I'm going on to a new chapter in my life. I also feel sad; I'll be leaving friends I've been with almost every day of my life. I feel anxious; I'll be leaving my family and my home. I want to experience college, but I am nervous and scared."

 Jayson's Gift to Journalism June 18-24, 2003
In papers all over this country, editors are firing off memos about double-checking anonymous sources, attributing assistance from stringers and maintaining racial diversity in the newsroom. In a post-Jayson Blair frenzy, American journalism is gnawing away at itself like a wolf chewing off its foot to escape a trap. But upsetting the newsroom status quo is a good thing, and overdue.

 Bonjour! June 11-17, 2003
It's high summer in France: bikinis blossom on the beach at St. Tropez and lovers stroll in lingering twilight beneath the Eiffel Tower.

The only things missing from these postcard-perfect scenes are Americans.
Still fuming over French President Jacques Chirac's active opposition to the war in Iraq, Americans are taking out their ire by staying home or vacationing elsewhere. If there was ever a year when you don't have to worry about bumping into your cousin from Cleveland, this is it.

 Pomp, Circumstance and Protest June 4-10, 2003
Recently, New York Times reporter Christopher Hedges gave the commencement address at Illinois' Rockford College, and was booed off the stage. Hedges began his address by disputing the idea that combat is noble, selfless and glorious; saying such beliefs are myths. Three minutes later, protestors pulled his microphone plug as many in the audience jeered, booed and turned their backs on him.

 Gone But Never Forgotten May 28-June 3, 2003
Memorial Day is for public mourning. We collectively hang up the flag, pull weeds in the cemetery, fill mayonnaise jars with peonies from the garden and order wreaths for the graves. It's a holiday created to honor fallen heroes. This year there are more fallen heroes than last year. Next year, there will be more still, because the United States continues to be embroiled in dangerous conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan.

The pain of losing a loved one, particularly in a distant war, never ends. That is the message of a new book by journalists Richard Pyle and Horst Faas, who still grieve for absent companions lost many years ago.

 A Healing Hand May 21-27, 2003
While driving across miles of Midwestern interstate, the radio's hourly news breaks kept me up-to-date on how we humans can inappropriately and violently touch one another. Drownings, shootings, suicide bombings, sexual molestations -- all served up along with Top-40 hits and bad advertising jingles.

Then, pulling away from yet another fast-food drive-up window, I caught the last few phrases of a different kind of story about the power of human touch -- the kind of story I would like to find out more about.

 Personal Development May 14-20, 2003
Folks all around me are challenging their status quo by diving into new pursuits. Perhaps it's the uncertainty of our times or a rebellion against the lockstep life of the freeway or a revolt against sensory overload -- maybe a combination of all three -- but nearly every week I hear of more friends stepping outside of their comfort zone.

An Alaska coal miner quit his job of 20 years to work on a coffee farm; a theater director is learning massage therapy; a farmer has hung up her hoe to make glass necklaces. Even my husband, a teacher, is taking hula lessons.

The Promise May 7-13, 2003
Driving to the post office to mail the mortgage payment, I saw something irregular out of the corner of my eye. In the minute it took me to turn around and park off the road, a calf's head had emerged from its mother: a birth, a new beginning.

Nature, unless we destroy it, pays no attention to us humans. It was the cow's natural cycle to have her offspring at that moment, in that place. I just happened along to witness the miracle.

The Credibility Gap April 30 – May 6, 2003
Each spring I migrate back to the stately University of Missouri campus where I went to college. In exchange for an airline ticket and too many slices of cold pizza, I am trotted around to classes by well-meaning contemporaries urging me to tell their students what it's like in "the real world."

Standing before 200 fresh-faced kids who'd much rather be out in the sunshine than sitting in a lecture hall makes me feel like a dinosaur briefly allowed out of Jurassic Park for good behavior.

Toys Are Us April 23 – 29, 2003
My friend's grandchildren are blissfully free to fill up carefree hours between naps and meals with toys, games and playmates. Except for territorial boundaries imposed by harried parents and caregivers, they can explore as far as whim and imagination take them. These toddlers are too young to be pushed by well-meaning adults toward the best college, the best career, the best pension plan.

Leave Jessica Alone April 16 – 22, 2003
The best thing we can do for Pfc. Jessica Lynch is leave her alone.

That's about as likely as a snowball in Baghdad.

Lynch is America's latest sweetheart. When U.S. Special Forces rescued the injured POW from a filthy hospital in Nasiriya, she put a human face on Iraq's blurry video blitzkrieg and gave us a genuine American heroine. Who better to exemplify the courage of our military men and women on the front lines than this sweet-faced teen-ager from Palestine, W. Va., pop. 900?

Sound and Fury April 9 – 15, 2003
I have a migraine. My heart is pounding. I am worn out from watching the war. I think we all are.

Lost in 24/7 sensory overload, the only things we know for sure about the ultimate TV reality show is that people in Iraq are suffering and dying. We must guess at the coherence of everything else happening on multiple fronts.

 Stifle Yourself April 2 – 8, 2003
If politics makes strange bedfellows, war makes for strained friendships.

An old schoolmate has been my best pal since we were 14. He's been there for every momentous occasion and countless forgotten ones that, when added up, make a life. In four decades, I can't recall a single cross word exchanged between us.

But now we are giving each other a wide berth, as wide as the chasm separating our opinions about America's invasion of Iraq.

Thoughts on War March 26 – April 1, 2003
Around the nation, Among Friends readers worry that although they are talking about war, they are not being heard. Rest assured that this column is listening, and that in the echo of your voices, we hear our own:

Attorney, New York: "I have mixed feelings about Saddam Hussein. We created and empowered him as a petty dictator to 'balance' the power of the Ayatollah in Iran. Rather than dealing with Iran ourselves we established a surrogate. Trading one evil for another is not the policy of a great nation, and neither is appeasement."

And So It Begins March 26 – April 1, 2003
War is the ultimate human failure.

President George W. Bush has failed as a leader because he did not keep talking until his administration found a peaceful way to solve the Iraqi crisis.

Congress, by turning a blind eye to its constitutional responsibilities to declare or prevent war, has failed its constituents.

The press - gung ho to report a story that will surely boost ratings, revenues and careers -- has failed to ask hard questions and demand straight answers from elected officials.

Through the Looking Glass March 19 – 25, 2003
This morning I awoke to find a travel advisory in my e-mail. The U.S. State Department suggests all Americans leave the United Arab Emirates because of "heightened tensions and increased security concerns." I probably wouldn't have given the press release another look if it weren't sent by my friends Becky and Murphy Turner, who have lived in the UAE since 2000.

There Goes the Neighborhood March 12 – 18, 2003
Did Mr. Rogers make a difference?

For 35 years his steady televised messages urged us to care about ourselves, be kind to others and fulfill our potential. As we grieve at the loss of this gentle, graceful man who seemed to glide through life without bumping into anything, we eulogize him as a great human being as well as a television icon. We say of Fred Rogers, "His like will never come again."

You Can't Get There From Here March 5 – 11, 2003
Say you already have a $403 roundtrip airline ticket to visit a friend. Then she suddenly decides to get married and you want to go to her wedding, but your ticket will get you there six days too late. So you ask to change your ticket: same airline, same flight, same departure point, same destination.

"That's no problem, we have plenty of seats," the United Airlines ticket agent says. "The additional one-way change fee will be $1,078."

 Fore! February 26 – March 4, 2003
Worn down by front-page reality, I turned to the sports section for psychic relief and found history in the making.

Annika Sorenstam has accepted one of 12 discretionary invitations offered by the Colonial golf tournament in Fort Worth, Texas, from May 22 to 25. Sorenstam, 32, has won more tournaments in the past two years than any golfer, male or female, and in 2001 became the first woman to shoot a 59. Last year she scored 13 victories around the world.

As Time Goes By February 19 – 25, 2003
When we take our national pulse and find it beating ever faster with fear and dread, it's tempting to think Osama bin Laden has won. The Bush Administration appears determined to declare war on Iraq. The stock market continues its downward spiral. Military reservists are shipping out to the Middle East. Our spouse is losing his job and our kids can't get one. Our savings and retirement nest egg have imploded. Eleven security officers check our hair dryer at the airport. Parents are afraid to take their kids to Disneyland. We turn on the television and radio in the morning with the same caution we'd use to handle a live grenade because North Korea's bellicose blustering and Iraq's stonewalling dominate the airways.

Loose Ends February 12 – 18, 2003
When I was growing up we had two unbreakable rules in our family: we never went to bed mad and we never left the house in the morning without kissing each other goodbye and saying, "I love you."

Parallel Universe February 5 – 11, 2003
The President of the United States is living in a parallel universe to the one inhabited by most of his employers.

Right up front, let's give the man his due: George W. Bush has the hardest job in the world. He leads the richest, most cantankerous and dissentious of nations. He was not elected by a majority of his fellow citizens. He was inexperienced and poorly prepared for his burden when he got slammed in his first year on the job by the worst terrorist attack in American history. Immediately afterward, he inspired our nation to move forward. He has grown up and grown into his office.

Monday January 29 – February 4, 2003
"What's that funny smell? Is the house on fire?" I asked, sitting up in bed. It was a burned-out light switch that forced my husband to finish shaving in the dark.

I didn't need to ask what day it was.

The Real Survivor January 22 – 28, 2003
We're conditioned to catastrophic news coming in multiples: 40,000 new AIDS cases diagnosed in Africa; 1 million Americans will have a heart attack this year; malaria infects over 300 million people around the world, every year. Round-the-clock news weights us down with so much war and pestilence that we risk becoming inured to one person's fight for life -- until that lonely struggler is someone we know.

 Be It Resolved January 15 – 21, 2003
A week into 2003, I overheard my friend exhort his dinner companion to "Keep your New Year's resolution, my dear."

I couldn't help myself. "What is your resolution?" I asked the woman, 99 percent certain it had to do with dieting, since that's always my resolution.

Scowling, the lady replied: "I promised to not be negative."

Free at Last January 8 – 14, 2003
Trent Lott is free at last.

The disgraced former Senate Majority leader may now become the man he says he is. Stripped of political power, he is liberated to grow into the elected official he ought to be.

Sometimes a Great Moment January 1 – 7, 2003
In the midst of our holiday rush we paused to honor friends at their mid-year graduate school commencement. Months ago, when my husband and I accepted the invitation, we'd secretly thought the hours we were taking away from our shopping-baking-wrapping-decorating-delivering routine might shortchange preparations for the holiday season.

© Copyright 2003 The Women Syndicate. The content on these pages is the property of The Women Syndicate and may not be used without express permission. Contact friends@tadbartimus.com

Last Revision:
Thursday April, 10 2003 9:37 AM