Vows of Folly December 25 – 31, 2002
I used to deck my halls with vows of folly: Dreams the house would be decorated early; the out-of-town gifts would be mailed before the postal deadline; and that my family would sit down together and make tree ornaments.

Memo On a Marriage December 18 – 24, 2002
Memo to Tad,

I know we agreed to write memos to each other about what it means to be married for 24 years -- something like 24 reasons why our marriage works. Then, yesterday, I drove you to have surgery on a tooth that had been giving you trouble. Afterward, as we were driving home, you said: "I have to go to the emergency room now, because I'm going to faint."

Recycled Christmas December 11 – 17, 2002
Like lemmings, we rushed to the mall after Thanksgiving and bought $12.6 billion worth of stuff.

The National Retail Federation claims 75 percent of Americans shopped during that three-day weekend. My husband was one of them. He came home with the two most popular sale items, a television set and our first DVD player.

Feathered-hope and Pea-green Boats December 4 – 10, 2002
"If hope is a thing with feathers, and fog comes on little cat feet, it's no wonder the Owl and the Pussy-Cat went to sea in a beautiful pea-green boat. And by the way, I do not like green eggs and ham!"

Then I woke up.

Big Brother November 27 – December 3, 2002
As we say grace over the sage stuffing, Parker House rolls and pumpkin pie, we'd do well to remember that this holiday began with the Pilgrims' gratitude for their freedom to worship, speak, publish and assemble without fear of reprisal.

The Play's the Thing November 20 – 26, 2002
We know that we should stop and smell the roses, that all's well that ends well, that this above all: to thine own self be true.

My refrigerator homilies remind me to enjoy life and lighten up, but I'm usually too busy to read them; I was raised with a strict "Clean up your room or you can't go out and play" ethic that has my inner child buried in "to do" lists.

Why I Voted for a Dead Woman November 13 – 19, 2002
The election is over. The losers will forget us, and the winners won't need us until next time. Like the father of the bride, our single duty -- "Who giveth this vote to this politician? I do." -- is finished. Did we choose well?

I did, when I voted for the late Congresswoman Patsy Mink, and so did 60 percent of voters in Hawaii this election day.

An Uncommon Man November 6 – 12, 2002
The death of liberal Democrat Sen. Paul Wellstone of Minnesota in a plane crash just 12 days before this year's mid-term election offers a sad occasion to celebrate a public life guided by character and conscience, rare and precious virtues in American politics.

The Longest Journey October 30 – November 5, 2002
Legendary dog musher DeeDee Jonrowe has braved blizzards, whiteouts, 40-below-0 temperatures, gale-force winds and logistical challenges that could stymie a military quartermaster. Each March for the past 19 years, she and her team have begun the Iditarod dogsled race in Anchorage, then run another 1,100 arctic miles down the trail to finish in Nome, Alaska.

One at a time October 23 – 29, 2002
It's easy to destroy lives. A stick of dynamite, a can of gasoline and a match bring down a building. A sniper's bullet terrorizes a town. A firebombing destabilizes a country. The media deluge that inevitably follows catastrophe swamps us with the perpetrators' evil. Even living thousands of miles away from the tragedy, we're infected by it.

A Legendary Life, Well-Lived October 16 – 22, 2002
Every year about this time I turn down a gravel lane bordered by golden cottonwoods and scarlet willows with my heart in my mouth. What will I find?

So far, so good.

Insurance Card Means More Than Any Birthday Card October 9 – 15, 2002
"Happy Birthday!" proclaimed the greeting card. "Just a reminder for screening and vaccination programs... Don't wait, early treatment works best!"

Colorfully illustrated with balloons and streamers, the card detailed warning signs for breast cancer, colorectal cancer, cervical cancer, heart disease, diabetes and pneumonia.

Wartorn October 2 – 8, 2002
Last night I was chatting with a man who said America's economy should improve "after the war starts." For him, it was a throwaway line, such as "after the holidays" or "after the first frost."

For me, the comment was a thunderbolt, the casual delivery stunning. Wow, I thought, President Bush's determined effort to lead the United States into a ground war in the Middle East may actually succeed. Subtly, without my realizing it, America has been turning from the war on terrorism to just ... war.

Then They Came for Me September 25 – October 1, 2002
Lately, I've been spending a lot of time watching cable news channels while waiting in airports. One particular layover gave me the opportunity to witness Florida authorities detain three Muslim medical students, in real time.

Life Goes On September 18 – 24, 2002
Life goes on.

Look around. Yes, there is sadness -- way too much of it. But there is also joy. It's the joy that matters.

On September 11, 2001, Baby Marissa barely filled up half her car seat and rode facing backward. Now she looks forward as the world rushes past, wiggling her tiny toes in glee as they dangle over the car seat's edge.

September 11 -- One year later September 11 – 17, 2002
In anticipation of the first anniversary of America's worst terrorist attacks, I invited you to express your thoughts on the events and aftermath of September 11, 2001. I asked for remarks, 30 words or less, that you would deliver if you were asked to speak at Ground Zero during commemorative ceremonies. My request was prompted by the fact that the only officially designated speakers at the World Trade Center site this September 11 are five male politicians, each reading an excerpt from speeches written long ago to mark other occasions.

Welcome to the Sixth Grade September 4 – 10, 2002
Once in a while, a guest with something important to say visits Among Friends. This week, teacher Dean Wariner shares a letter he sent home with 40 sixth-graders on their first day in middle school. In it, he tries to allay the 11-year-olds' trepidation about moving up to a higher educational level in a different building. He also wants them to have a roadmap of their journey of discovery together over the next 10 months. Wariner hopes that by asking parents to read and sign the letter, they'll know he wants to work with them in a cooperative partnership that always puts their child's best interest first

A Cut Above August 28 – September 3, 2002
When I feel a paradigm shift coming on, I go in search of the perfect haircut. I equate this urge to the definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome.

How do you feel about September 11? August 21 – 27, 2002
Since September 11, we've been bracing for the first official commemoration of America's worst terrorist attack. We know we must honor the dead, comfort the living and pay tribute to the brave. But how do we observe such a collective experience of unprecedented magnitude without turning its anniversary into an ideological, political and media three-ring circus?

Hope Springs Eternal August 14 – 20, 2002
The phrase "hope springs eternal" was coined for women on diets.

Another summer, another bathing suit. Every April I’m sure this will be the year when I finally drop the (20,25,30,35) pounds I need to shed in order to regain the figure I used to have when I was thin but thought I was fat.

Of Miners and Lesser Men August 7 – 13, 2002
"These guys ... they knew the risk when they went into the mine ... and they knew exactly what to do when the water came rushing in. They kept their cool and they saved themselves ... ."

-- Dr. Russell Dumire, trauma surgeon, Conemaugh Memorial Medical Center, Johnstown, Pa.

Dear Oprah July 31 – August 6, 2002 
Welcome to the neighborhood. Like many of us, you probably think moving to Hawaii means escaping the rat race. Think again. Life follows you to the end of the road.

Even here, phones ring, faxes arrive, e-mails pile up, bills accumulate. In winter, folks fleeing the cold arrive on our doorsteps and, like fish, begin to smell after three days. When one batch leaves, another appears.

Fire and Ice July 24– 30, 2002
A parent's death can bring out the worst in us. Festering rivalries and grudges erupt across a hospital bed. Heirs jockey for most-favored status and monetary gain. Legal papers materialize from thin air. Quarrels break out over medical treatments. Family members squabble over whether a loved one should die at home or in a hospice.

Mental Traveler July 17 – 23, 2002
The summer isn't half over and already I've risked death in Bosnia, dined al fresco in Tuscany, hiked the Grand Canyon and been hit by a car on a backwoods road in Maine – all without leaving home.

A Hole in the Paper July 10 – 16, 2002
Ann Landers changed my life; I bet she changed yours, too.

In the 46 years she authored her advice column, Ann Landers/Eppie Lederer influenced millions of grieving, lovelorn and confused fellow travelers. When she died, Lederer took her column with her, bringing to a dignified end a chapter in journalism unique to a woman who was both a refined lady and a great old broad.

Prejudiced Patriotism July 3 – 9, 2002
Patriots defend each other's right to disagree, to fuss and to argue, to point fingers and call names, to express ourselves, to try and make our country better without reprisal as long as we don't infringe on anyone else's rights.

In the 226 years since America's original patriots signed the Declaration of Independence, many good men -- and women -- have fought for these freedoms.

Pit Bull At the Door June 26 – July 2, 2002
It was dark, my vision was obscured by an armload of laundry, and I was distracted by the yowling cat. I kicked open the back door and started down the steps. A menacing growl stopped me.

Happy (bleeping) Father's Day June 19 – 25, 2002 
Once upon a time, Ozzie Nelson was America's archetypal TV father, a straight-arrow, buttoned-down disciplinarian who wielded unfettered power within his nuclear family. His kitchen-bound wife, Harriet, played second fiddle as the little woman whose job it was to deliver the punch line to her husband's straight-man wisdom. Sons David and Ricky were portrayed as incapable of getting out of bed in the morning if Ozzie didn't tell them to.

Show Me The Money June 12 – 18, 2002
Ho-hum. No big headline, no bold type, just a short news item announcing that our government made $20 billion in overpayments last year. 

The White House Office of Management and Budget (OMB) said the misspent funds represented 1 percent of the federal budget. Perhaps $20 billion is a negligible sum to bureaucrats but it's a whole lot of money to you and me. The same government that giveth also taketh away; we have a keen interest in where our hard-earned money goes and who gets it.

Don't Worry, Be Happy June 5 – 11, 2002
Nearly everybody in our town goes to high school graduation. It's fun, like a carnival held outdoors under the leafy limbs of spreading trees that grant us welcome shade from the heat.

Give Us Our Daily (Crusted) Bread May 29 – June 4, 2002
Now comes crustless bread.

Food giant Sara Lee has invested millions of dollars in bigger pans, an airtight cooling room, special automated cutters and double-wrap packaging so that picky kids who balk at eating crust can be indulged.

"Consumers are screaming for simplicity, and any product that offers convenience has a leg up," company spokesman Matt Wall told USA Today.

A Day At The Beach May 22 – 28, 2002
Sunny, warm Saturdays bring children to the beach. They giggle and shriek. Under the watchful eyes of adults, they play volleyball and splash in the water and roll in the sand. Zaney Ann was doing the same thing millions of other kids do, the same thing she'd done many times, when her sand tunnel collapsed under a wave.

Many Mothers May 15 – 21, 2002
We are born to just one mama, but many women mother us. Our surrogate moms loan us soft shoulders to cry on and strong arms to lean on. They miraculously appear when we need them: our first year away at college; next door when we move in with our young family; down the hall at the office. Many of these women have children of their own, but make room for one more because they see we are lonely, or uncertain, or need to belong to a family. Unlike our real mamas, they see us in the moment, not as we once were, or as they think we should be. Some of these surrogate moms remain a constant in our lives; others pass us on, to the next nurturer, with a smile and a hug and a "Good luck. Don't forget to write." 

Brad Pitt's Couch May 8 – 14, 2002 
One of life's great shocks is waking up the morning after your college graduation and realizing you don't know what you're doing that day.

So you got A's, made the dean's list, graduated magna cum laude.

Now what? Nobody tells you what happens next.

Returning to Familiear Waters May 1 – 7, 2002
Why does a Canada Goose return annually to the same nest to hatch her goslings, we wonder? Or, why does a salmon swim up the river that spawned her to lay her own eggs, or a humpback whale voyage halfway across an ocean to birth her calf in waters where she was born?

Pink Cloud Diplomacy April 24 – 30, 2002
"President Bush was criticized ...for not having a clear stance on the Middle East Crisis. You know what? Good! The only people with a very clear stance on the Middle East are the crazy people in the Middle East." -- Tina Fey, "Saturday Night Live"

Like so many of us, George W. Bush was raised on the pink cloud version of the Holy Land.

Enron And Taxes April 17 – 23, 2002
It's the week of reckoning.

Scraps of paper tossed into grocery sacks and old shoeboxes have been tallied. Lost check registers have been found. Scribbles on charge slips have been deciphered. The tax return sits on the kitchen table, waiting to be signed.

Body and Soul April 10 – 16, 2002
First came Dolly the sheep, then CC the cat, and now, four female rabbits. Clones are an exact genetic copy of a single parent, so no sexual reproduction is required, which makes this scientific achievement seem superfluous since it involves not only rabbits, but French rabbits.

Spring April 3 – 9, 2002
It's spring. We still go to school, and to work, and increasingly we play again. Our churches, synagogues, mosques and temples still stand. So do our shopping centers, movie theaters, libraries and museums. After Sept. 11, we were sure we'd never have another frivolous thought, nor want one; last week, we ogled Academy Awards dresses and held office pools on the Final Four.

It Happens Everywhere March 27 – April 2, 2002 
I think my friend is using drugs. 

We're not talking aspirin here. I mean a highly dangerous drug, probably crystal methamphetamine, a 1960s invention originally also known as "speed." In the new millennium it's called "ice," or Jenny Clear, rock, glass, batu or shabu, and is an addictive illegal substance that destroys lives and can permanently damage and kill its users.

Heart To Heart March 20 – 26, 2002
You make my heart beat faster, says the lover.

You are my heart's desire, says the spouse.

You are the joy of my heart, says the parent.

Our hearts are the center of our being, our first and last impulse, the metronome of life. We press our pounding heart to our mate's to express love, put our hand over our heart to show devotion, put an ear to a pregnant mother's belly to listen to the heartbeat of creation.

Just Desserts March 13 – 19, 2002
Like me, millions of you recently got spammed with an e-mail proclaiming "chocolate is a vegetable." Given the number of chocoholics in the world, this letter surely has circumnavigated the globe countless times. As if the subject matter wasnât titillating enough, the ending was a real grabber: "Send this to four women and you will lose two pounds. Send this to all the women you know (or ever knew) and you will lose 10 pounds. IF YOU DELETE THIS MESSAGE, YOU WILL GAIN 10 POUNDS IMMEDIATELY." (Which is why I am sending it to all of you, dear readers!)

The Power Of One ,March 6 – 12, 2002
Great journalists searching for truth find the edge, walk up to it, and step over. That's what Danny Pearl was doing when he was kidnapped and murdered in Pakistan. That's what 37 other journalists around the world were doing when they were killed last year.

Remembering Kristen February 27 – March 5 , 2002
The fight to keep Kristen Ann Carr alive was nearing its end when she looked up at her doctor, Murray Brennan, and said, "You don't sound like you have a lot of solutions here."

 Sacred Honor February 20 – 26, 2002
Presidents' Day is synonymous with February white sales, 50 percent off winter coats and sleeping late on Monday morning. These are all good things, but they don't honor those for whom this federal holiday was created.

Happily Ever After February 13 – 19, 2002 
Four years ago, on Valentine's Day, I spent an hour on the phone commiserating with a faraway friend whose husband of 20 years had left her for another woman.
My friend Ellen, then 50, had just been feted by her presumably devoted spouse, who toasted her by saying, "the best is yet to come." 

"Maybe his best is," my friend mourned, "but I'm not so sure about mine."

Table of Contents February 6 – 12, 2002
My purse fell over at the Post Office today. This is not something you want to happen to you.

There, on the old oak table everybody in town uses to hastily address overdue bills -- which I was doing -- the contents of my life spilled out. Before I could stop them, helpful souls had retrieved some of the 86 items (if you don't count all the M&M's) I was carrying around with me in my bag.

Justice Served January 30 – February 5, 2002
Most of us get one life to live. Sara Jane Olson is on her fourth.

The accused Symbionese Liberation Army terrorist was sentenced earlier this month for conspiracy to commit murder by helping to plant bombs under two Los Angeles patrol cars in 1974.

Kathleen Soliah, alias Kathy Silas, alias Kathy Olsen, alias Sara Jane Olson, has lived lives as a freckle-faced, Palmdale (Calif.) High School spirit champ and young Republican; a terrorist sympathizer; a hunted fugitive, and now, a prisoner.

More Power To You January 23 – 29, 2002
Katie Couric's new $65 million contract with NBC to co-host the "Today" show for another four-and-a-half years has headlines asking, with a wink and a nod, "Is she worth it?"

This is not a question put to Tiger Woods, who is also at the top of his game.

Give Me Some Credit January 16 – 22, 2002
When I die I'm taking my Sears card with me.

Sears said, "sign here" when I was 18 and short of cash while buying a set of sheets to take to college. They put their trust in me when no other company would. Owing Sears isn't the same as owing American Express, which initially denied me credit because I didn't have a husband, or Visa, which truly is everywhere and therefore the ultimate temptress.

 My Life As A Dog January 9 – 15, 2002
In my next life, I'm coming back as my dog.

This idea crystallized today when I smelled Daisy from 50 yards away. Daisy, it must be explained, was, is, and will always be a wild dog. My husband rescued her from the dumpster at his middle school on the last day of classes three years ago. She was a shivering puppy with spiky, sparse red fur, a sure sign of severe malnutrition. Our veterinarian said she was just a couple of days away from death when, against my better judgment, we brought her home to live with our two old cats, who hated her on sight.

Timber January 2 – 8, 2002
I'm usually sorry to see the holidays go, but not this year. I can finally stop sleeping with the fire extinguisher.
Our Christmas tree looked beautiful on the lot, its branches long and lush, its needles soft and silky.

© Copyright 2002 The Women Syndicate. The content on these pages is the property of The Women Syndicate and may not be used without express permission. Contact friends@tadbartimus.com

Last Revision:
Friday, Aug 2, 2002 11:12 AM