Reordered Priorities

For all that we've lost in recent days, we've gained some things, too. We're reaching out to strangers, and being embraced by them. We're holding our loved ones closer. We're a unified country. We're counting our blessings. We're trying to be better human beings.

That business trip we had to take wasn't that important after all. The report we had to write is still unwritten. Those extra hours we had to put in at the office were spent with our children. We're talking and praying and breaking bread together. We're taking time to think, to reflect.
Because of all of the horrible things that occurred on September 11th, we are reordering our priorities. We are doing what all the stress experts, best-selling books, meditation counselors and our own consciences couldn't persuade us to do -- we are slowing down.

Why can't we see our children off to school? Why can't we get home in time to sit down with them at dinner? Why can't we help our partner schlep the groceries? Why can't we spend a long weekend visiting grandma?

We've found out the hard way that the rat race can wait. Why were we running it anyway? For money? For status? When did we become such a frantic people, with no time to listen to each other or to ourselves?

Before September 11th, we squandered ourselves. We worried about whether we could download Napster or get the latest fashion fad via FedEx by Thursday. We lived by our day planners, the NASDAQ, our kids' SAT scores. We were so busy being busy that, even within families, we were independent operators living off Pop Tarts and promising to "get together soon, absolutely!"
Nineteen terrorists, four airplanes and 6,000 lost lives changed everything.

But in six weeks will we remember our newfound good intentions? America has a short attention span. Right now all of us are united behind George W. Bush as our president, our leader in this crisis. But will the political bickering and posturing, the "me-first" syndrome, start up again a week from Tuesday? Will we resume our manic (and mostly unnecessary) work schedules once the shock wears off? Will our children -- so frightened, so baffled, so in need of our comfort -- be left once again to sort it out on their own because "I'm just too busy right now, honey"?

Already, we are starting to indulge in some of our more shallow habits, what I call the "you're either with us or against us" absolutism Americans are so criticized for aboard. Just because a household doesn't display an American flag doesn't mean the folks who live there aren't patriotic. Just because a friend disagrees with your beliefs that "we ought to nuke 'em, kill 'em all" doesn't mean they aren't "good" Americans. Just because someone looks different than we do doesn't mean they're our enemy.

The strength of this nation is its diversity; our one "absolute" is our democracy -- the right of every citizen to believe as he or she chooses, and to exercise that right through freedom of speech and religion. This is not a time for jingoism or irrational nationalism based on symbols instead of principles.

The days ahead are going to be hard. Our civil liberties will be under intense pressure, our patience will be tested as we go about the simplest of tasks, from getting gasoline to checking in at an airport. We are all waiting for the other shoe to drop, especially our young men and women who may be called upon to sacrifice their lives in retaliation for the worst terrorist attacks in history.

Now, more than ever in our history, we must keep our personal as well as our national priorities straight. We must love one another, be kind to one another, be brave, do our best. If each of us succeeds, we will have a better country than we have ever had before. 

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