E Is For Elitism

It's time for our children to be enthusiastic and optimistic about expanding their horizons in a new school year, but some students are already dreading the sound of the first bell.

For them, going back into the classroom is excruciating because they don't feel they belong. Their peers arbitrarily decided they're not "cool" enough to fit in -- perhaps these young outcasts have even been taunted and ridiculed by the "popular" classmates who ostracized them.

Like any other place where humans gather in groups, schools are a breeding ground for cliques. Exclusion from the "in" crowd often results in social alienation, which in turn creates emotional loners. These sad kids increasingly are turning violent and striking back at those they perceive as their tormentors. A new school year automatically brings more trepidation about campus shootings, playground fights, harassment, threats, intimidation and countless disciplinary problems.

Elizabeth J. Neuse, who grew up in Clayton, Mo., and graduated this year from Arizona State University's journalism school, has spent 13 of her 21 years being a student. As she leaves the campus behind to become an editorial assistant at a Berkeley, Calif., magazine, she offers these thoughts to Among Friends readers returning to the classroom:
"Being 'out of the loop' never feels good ... it's a feeling most of us wish we could have left among the old term papers and algebra tests in our high school lockers ... Every morning we entered school trying to avoid the social land mines that lay under lime green carpet and linoleum floors on the path to popularity.

"I am a big nerd at heart, but I was lucky enough as a child to have a mother who dressed me in the right clothes and threw parties for me, which insured my inclusion. For the dorky kids whose parents weren't quite as up on things as I was, I served as the liaison, negotiating for extra spaces at the lunch table and spots on the kick ball team.
"Eventually, the popular groupies caught onto my scheme of inclusion and shunned me over having ketchup on my bologna sandwich.

"But my mother remembered what it felt like not to be included, and thus made me invite every person in my class to my birthday parties in elementary school, including the anti-ketchup brigade and kids I didn't even like.

"During a recent visit with my father, he told me that when he was buying a magazine in the St. Louis airport, the young woman at the cash register read his credit card and said: 'Cliff Neuse. You're E.J.'s dad. I used to come to her birthday parties every year in elementary school. It was really cool of you to always invite everybody.'
"I didn't remember this girl's name, but I felt good that she remembered me.

"I am in no way perfect. I have committed elitist acts myself, sometimes intentionally, sometimes without even thinking. (Elitism is the belief that certain persons or members of certain classes or groups deserve favored treatment by virtue of their perceived superiority, as in intellect, social status or financial resources.) I just want people to step outside their comfort zones for a moment to see how such actions affect others.

"I am a vegetarian now. I no longer worry about my choice of bologna sandwich condiments, and I am no longer scared of what people think. The last piece of advice my mother gave me when I left for college was, 'Choose your words and your friends wisely.'

"We can never fully repay our parents for the gifts they give us. The best we can do is pay it forward. We could all use a 'word of the day' exercise - let's start with kindness ... acceptance ... individuality ..."

"Elitism is the belief that certain persons or members of certain classes or groups deserve favored treatment by virtue of their perceived superiority, as in intellect, social status or financial resources ...

© 2001 The Women Syndicate

Visit TAD at www.tadbartimus.com and send your own great stories – 300 words or less – to friends@tadbartimus.com or write c/o The Women Syndicate, P.O. Box 728, Puunene, Hawaii 96784. Thanks for sharing.

© 2001 The Women Syndicate. The content on these pages is the property of The Women Syndicate and may not be used without express written permission. Contact friends@tadbartimus.com