No whining

By TAD BARTIMUS

"Men with guns, criminals with masks, came in the night and ordered us to leave or they would kill us. We started walking. Several babies were born beside the railroad tracks. Nobody knows where the rest of their family is. There is killing in the streets." A Kosovar woman fleeing to Albania."

Excuse me, stewardess, I'm missing a pillow. I'm a frequent flyer, my company does a lot of business with your airline and I expect a pillow. And by the way, please bring me the Wall Street Journal and a Scotch on the rocks, Dewar's, I know we haven't taken off yet but I've had a hard day closing my big deal. Why isn't there a new movie on board? I've already seen this one and it's lousy. Don't forget the pillow.

Photo by John Costello of The Philadelphia Inquirer/KRT

"HELP US! PLEASE HELP US! Tell President Clinton we are being murdered, there is nothing to eat, our children are frightened, it is cold, there's no place to sleep, my baby is sick. We have no warm clothes, nothing. America, help us!" -- A Kosovar man fleeing to Macedonia.

Excuse me, young man, but your seedless grapes have a little mould on them. I don't expect to buy grapes with mould on them, even if they are on sale for less than $1 a pound and they've come all the way from California. I expect you to refund my money and give me a new bag of grapes. For free. Your standards are slipping in this grocery store, aren't they? You don't even have fresh strawberries today. How do you expect me to make dessert for my bridge club if you don't have fresh strawberries?

"In the Pagarusa Valley, about 30 miles southwest of Kosovo's capital, Prestina, there were reports that a 'large number' of refugees were trapped. A NATO spokesman in Brussels, Belgium, told reporters Yugoslav government forces were 'raining artillery fire' on them." -- wire service report.

Listen, kid, when I pull up to this order window I expect you to have what I want to eat, when I want it. This is supposed to be a fast food restaurant, right? The minute I pay my $4.39 for my double burger with everything, giant fries so fresh and hot they burn my fingers, and a super colossal drink full of ice I want it in my hand. Got it? What's this country coming to, anyway, when you've gotta wait five minutes for a hamburger?

"Americans? What are they doing here? If I had a gun I would shoot them." -- Serbian farmer

Man, what a hard day. The dry cleaning wasn't ready as promised, the power windows on the car got stuck, my dentist kept me waiting for 45 minutes and I was late to pick up the kids at daycare so they charged me another $10. By the time I got home my ham-and-pineapple pizza was cold and I'd missed the nightly news. Oh well, there probably wasn't much on anyway. There never is.

"According to refugees streaming across the borders of Albania and Macedonia, Serbian forces are ruthlessly, systematically emptying Kosovo of anyone who isn't Serb. They are looting and burning houses, stealing cars, herding thousands and thousands of people into a river of misery that doesn't appear to have any end. So many people have been displaced so quickly nobody thought it could happen. But it did." ABC News broadcast.

It's all in your perspective.

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